I am leaving my position as pastor at Floradale Mennonite Church at the end of August. I will have been the pastor at the church for 25 years. The church has been a wonderful place to live out my calling/vocation as a pastor. It has been a wonderful spot to raise our four children. Both the church and the community that we have lived in, have been amazing.
But, it is time for me to leave. I still love the place, and the people who make up the congregation. The congregation has prayed for me, and taken good care of me. They have allowed me to pray with them, love them, and be part of them for a quarter of a century. They have forgiven me when I have made mistakes. I have had the privilege to preach alongside of them. They have listened to me, over a thousand times. They have allowed me to study and reflect upon the Bible on a weekly basis, and they paid me to do it. That is one of the greatest gifts that they have given to me.
But, it is time for me to leave. In our time together, we have said goodbye to many of the saints of the area. We have grieved together over these many years. There have been many stories to tell, both sad and happy, as we have walked the journey of death and life. When I arrived at the Floradale Church, I had to announce the death of a member on my first Sunday. This is part of my work that I find the most sacred.
But, it is time for me to leave. Being a pastor is hard work. At the end of each day, my work is never finished. I could have preached a better sermon, or I could have listened more compassionately to someone’s story. I should have written a better article for the Observer. In my understanding of the work of a pastor I am trying to please/work well with the church that has called me, and also do the work of God. It is difficult to do both, and what does it mean to do both? What is God, and what is humanity? This kind of thinking is all internal for me, and I struggle everyday with this calling to be pastor.
But, it is time for me to leave. The church has given me great ways to grow as a Christian and as a pastor. Three times, yes three times, they have given me a sabbatical. It has given me time off to explore the world, travel and be with my family, and nurture my soul. They have seen the sabbaticals as a way to benefit my skills, and it is a benefit to them if I have become a better pastor. It is a win/win situation that I am very grateful to have experienced.
But, it is time for me leave. I have begun to notice that I was getting comfortable as pastor. Being comfortable is something we all strive for, and for the church and pastor to be comfortable together is a great thing. We have worked well together for 25 years. We worked through a building project. We worked at new visions for the church. We have had many staff and leadership changes over the years. And we have thrived together. It has been a great run. I love the place.
But, it is time for me to leave. I am leaving the position for my faith too. I have not had to decide what to do for 25 years, so it is a large step of faith to leave this position, and not have anything in place. My Jesuit spiritual director told me that “now Fred, you’re stepping out in true faith.“ That is good, and scary.
I love this place. Allan Doyle writes a song with the following line, “I don’t know where I’m going, but I know where I belong.” Blessings always.