It has been a long winter. In terms of snow and cold, it has been an easier winter. But, I have experienced the lack of sunshine and the dreary weather with much sadness. The snow would come, and then it would melt, and we would see all that dirty snow. For me, it is never nice to walk or drive in slush. And we have had a lot of slushy days. Then, April comes, and the up and down weather continues to plague us.
How has your soul or mind, or your spirit been through this different kind of winter. When you wake up in the morning, and it is cloudy and raining, just lightly, how does it affect who you are? And, if it does make you cranky and unfriendly, how long does it take for you to recover to your pleasant self? And then, if there are things at your workplace that are stressful, or things are not good at home, it would take even longer to feel good again. It would seen to be a perfect negative emotional storm with the bad weather included. Sometimes, it can be difficult to recover for our body, mind, soul and spirit.
Many people, very gifted persons, can travel these difficult journeys of darkness and depression. The Italian painter, Modigliani (1884-1920), suffered from mental illness and some addictive behaviour, but he was able to paint the human form and faces with such brilliance. He was able to see beyond things that were destroying his life, to paint portraits of people with such grace.
We all know people who struggle with mental health issues, who live lives of hope and grace as well. For some though, it is a daily struggle to make it through the next afternoon or evening. There are no easy answers to find relief from the darkness’s in our lives. We can go to counselling, take medication, exercise and eat better, and still there are parts of our mind and soul that will continue to plague us in our journey of life, and of faith.
The book of Psalms in the Bible has almost all the emotions that I have experienced in my life. Anger, disappointment, joy, laughter (yes it is), tears, questioning God’s presence in the world are all included in this ancient guide to worship of God. The writer is often speaking out in distress and depression about God not showing up when the writer thinks that God should show up. One problem that I have with many of the Psalms of Lament is that there is not much time between when the writer is crying out, and when the writer is celebrating God. Sometimes it happens between two verses in one of the chapters. How long was the time between when the Psalmist cries out “where are you in my deepest distress“ to when he/she writes “Thanks be to God”? For many of us, this kind of movement in our own lives might take years. Or we might find ourselves in Psalm 88 where there is no celebration, at all.
My Mom suffered from mental illness/depression for most of her adult life. I think my Dad also struggled with it in some ways as well, but it was not as severe. I must be aware of my own moods, and times in my life when these thoughts and feelings might overwhelm me. This winter, with its sloppy weather, has been a challenge for me. Life’s stressful times can also lead towards even more challenges with mental illness.
We are all looking for a joyful beginning to break out. A little bit more sunshine would help as we move to summer. A new joy-filled experience with God would be great for my Soul and Spirit. A delightful conversation around all of our struggles, so we might journey together, and a good reading of the emotionally charged Psalms might just be the remedy I need. What do you need?
Fred Redekop
April 13, 2016